Envy: 3 Common Problems With Friends And How You Solve Them

Even in the best friendships there can be arguments, disagreements, hurt feelings or simply things that urgently need to be cleared up. The good news is that most problems with friends can be resolved. You can find out how here.

Professor X and Magneto, Mark Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin*, Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Harry Osborn (Green Goblin), Ben Hur and Messala…. Once inseparable friends, now bitter enemies – this pattern is familiar from films, series, books, comics and… unfortunately also from real life. But it doesn’t have to come to that! Because even major problems with friends should be tackled immediately and everything done to sort them out.

In every interpersonal relationship, whether with parents, children, relatives, partners or friends, there are misunderstandings, disagreements or serious problems. Often these are short-lived and resolve themselves. Sometimes, however, a few measures are needed to put things back on an even keel.

That’s why we’re starting a series of articles here about the most common problems with friends (in our experience) and how you can best sort them out!

Problems With Friends #1 – Envy

It’s a natural reaction to be envious of someone from time to time – people are wired to compare themselves to others. And most of the time you compare yourself with the people in your immediate environment.

Envy and competitiveness become a problem in a friendship if, for example, one of the friends is constantly envious of the other: the other person is supposedly better looking, earns more money, is luckier in love, is more popular with others, etc. The worst case scenario is that the friendship turns into a relationship.

In the worst case, the friendly feelings turn more and more into envy. You simply can’t begrudge your friend his or her happiness. And then there is bad blood very quickly. Because suddenly you behave quite differently towards the person in question.

The Way to a Solution

If you yourself are the envious one in the friendship, the first step is to become fully aware of it.

Questions to Yourself

• Why do you envy your friend?
• Does it really correspond to the objective facts that she/he has it so much better than you?
• And even if it does – why can’t you indulge her/him, you are friends after all?
• Are there perhaps also things she/he could envy you for?
• Maybe the problem is not so much with your friend, but with some aspect of your life that you are unhappy with?
• And if so, what can you do to change things?

If you come to the conclusion that the friend in question is often taking advantage of you at your expense, address this issue in a quiet minute. Likewise, if you feel your friend is constantly showing off and making you look bad. Even if it is sometimes unpleasant, talking about your feelings with the person concerned is generally the decisive step towards a solution. Your friend may not be aware of his/her behaviour.

If you are in the opposite situation and you have the feeling that your friend is not happy for you, you should also talk about it. This way you can also do something so that the person no longer sees himself or herself at a constant disadvantage compared to you. As a good friend, you can help him or her to get better grades, to be more successful in flirting, to get a grip on their figure, etc.

Other common problems with friends include competitiveness and breach of faith, which you can combat with these tips.

Friendship, love and spending quality time together with the people we love: these are the topics on Abenteuer Freundschaft. On the ideas portal, we share our ideas for more Quality Time through special activities with friends, as a couple and with children.

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Image source Cover image: Girl in Despair by Alyssa L. Miller at CC BY 2.0.

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